An old article I came across made some interesting if not very boring reading, as I was sat in my favourite coffee shop reading “said article ” I thought I can never leave my condo again.( tongue firmly in cheek).
So I decided to put it out there,and ask members of the the sweet3mango family their advice on coming to Thailand and using the roads.
Have a read of some of the serious and not so serious replies I had.
“Trust no one”.
“Don’t take van. Unless there’s no there’s option”.
“It’s just as dangerous to drive slowly”
“Make sure you have Life Insurance before you put the key in the ignition……….Because you’re gonna diiiiiiie Boy!
50% of drivers are texting”.
“The other 50% are reading them”.
“It’s a known scientific fact that if you Drive around Thailand wearing Pink Underwear on you’re head it stops Mosquito’s from biting you 555”
“Zebra crossings are just road decorations, and motor bikes have two-way priority on the pavements”.
“Don’t hit another Car unless you are driving at least 140 Kph 555”
“Always look left before you step off a bus. Chances are high that a motor bike is undertaking”.
“Always always always agree a price on a motorbike taxi beforehand. An argument at a rank where there are six other taxis is never a good idea”.
“The only places you do not need to look out for motorbike taxis are in lifts and on escalators. Expect them everywhere else”.
“There are no GIVE WAY rules in Thailand. Or GIVE A FUCK for that matter”.
“Hope you passed a hazard perception test”
“Everything is a hazard here”
“Zebra crossings are decorative”.
“All thai maps are wrong. Trust google maps only. If you need directions remember if a Thai does not know, they won’t tell you they don’t know but will send you somewhere anyway. Being seen to being helpful is more important than giving you help”.
We hired a driver with van from Udorn to Chiang Mia with the intent of seeing the countryside and seldom farang visited cities, we learned early on to not look forward as watching oncoming traffic will make you stain your pants.
“Don’t drink the water”
“Keep in touch with mama”
“Never look or act like a tourist for starters. Then, just blend in and smile a lot. They will only think you’re passing gas, or just trying to be friendly. Their defenses are neutralized, and you can get away with almost anything. You will always lose in a confrontation in any form with Thais. And lastly, always remember, it’s not your country”.
“Act your age, not your (UK) shoe size”
“don’t take a tuktuk”
“Another piece of advice, never trust a Thai map, they are invariably wrong by about 500 metres”.
“and remember, EVERYBODY is a handsome man on soi 4 and in Pattaya”.